What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?
Answer: "Halo there!"
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While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set.
"If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?"
The boy became very quiet.
So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?"
He promptly replied, "Another train."
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A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sex with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sex with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
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You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?
A: Lefty.
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Lately, I was by the urologist.
He examined me but he did not tell me the truth into my eyes.
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A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?"
The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.
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What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
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