What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells!
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Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous cock,
All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all,
Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong...
Fuck my arsehole all night long!"
Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Yo momma is so poor for Christmas she got a box, put two sticks on it, spun it and said son here's your xbox 360.
At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep.
Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
"Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
"Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?"
Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
What did the black kid get for Christmas?
YOUR BIKE!
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Yo mama so stupid someone said Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.