Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes?
A: The execution.
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I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today.
I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
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Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers?
A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
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My dad died on 9-11.
He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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Q: Where did OP go in the explosion?
A: Everywhere.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
BOOM!!!
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Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history?
Hitler.
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Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't.
The guilt was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave."
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
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I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
A bittersweet victory.
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