Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes?
A: The execution.
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I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today.
I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
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Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers?
A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
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My dad died on 9-11.
He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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Q: Where did OP go in the explosion?
A: Everywhere.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
BOOM!!!
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Three holy men rode a plane home.
There was a terrorist on board who of the firm belief that the world should end.
Who should talk him out of it.
The pilot and his crew gave up and believed the holy men should live.
In the remains was a burnt soccer ball labeled flame retardant.
And a melted black box.
The holy men still live to tell the tale.
And so does the football.
I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
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