Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed. Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
What's the last thing that goes through your mind when you fight Chuck Norris? His foot.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.