Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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The dinosaurs aren't extinct.
They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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