Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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Chuck Norris can fall up.
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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
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Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
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Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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Chuck Norris knows the secret of the Caramilk
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Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
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