Joke #12184

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
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has 80.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: life, ugly

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Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life, ugly
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
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has 77.03 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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has 65.92 % from 438 votes. More jokes about: sex, ugly
Can I help you? No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi.
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has 77.71 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: life
A young lad went to a tailor shop in Scotland. He told the tailor, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here, and if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings." A few days later, the tailor called the lad back to the shop. "Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of material left over. Take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it." The lad rushed home and donned his kilt. He decided to run to his girlfriend's house to show off his new purchase. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to wear his underwear. When his girlfriend answered the door, he pointed to his kilt and said, "Well, what'd ye think?" "Ah, but dat's a fine looking kilt," she exclaimed. "Aye, and if ye like it, y'ell really like what's underneath," he bragged as he lifted his kilt. "Oh, but dat's a dandy," his girlfriend shouted admiringly. Still not realizing that he didn't have his underwear on, he exclaimed quite proudly, "Aye, and if ye like it, I've got five more yards of it at home!"
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has 82.65 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: life
Yo' Mama's teeth are so yellow, when she closes her mouth, her cheeks light up.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Heading off to college at the age of 40, I was a bit self-conscious about my advancing years. One morning I complained to my husband that I was the oldest student in my class. "Even the teacher is younger than I am," I said. "Yeah," he said optimistically, "but look at it from my point of view. I thought my days of fooling around with college girls were over!"
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has 81.23 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: life
Yo momma is so ugly that Superman lost his supervision and went blind.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: health, ugly, Yo mama
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sex, ugly, Yo mama