I visited my new friend in his flat.
He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out.
I hate having visitors.
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I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits.
Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.
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An old football player was dying.
So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?"
Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times:
1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team.
2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times.
3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
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A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
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Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2: "What? White?"
Friend 1: "No, expired."
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Joke has 52.63 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, white people, wife
Bro, send me some good jokes.
Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend.
Good One! Send me more.
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Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon.
For a long time, they could not decide upon any game.
Suddenly, Jenny had an idea.
She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools".
"OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."
Two old friends met by chance on the street.
After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me."
The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
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Joke has 76.01 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, memory, old people, time
What is the best type of ship?
FRIENDSHIP!
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You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
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Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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