A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green.
But each time the ball splashes into the drink.
In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself."
The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"
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A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing.
He starts sawing a hole in the ice, when a loud booming voice says, "You will find no fish there."
The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on.
The voice booms again, "You will find no fish under the ice."
The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?"
The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."
Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center?
A: Nottingham forest.
Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech?
A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal.
Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet.
Of course, they should at the court.
Vote:
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.
The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
She then explained that she was a physical therapist and offered to help ease his "pain."
"Please allow me to help, I am a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!"
She told him earnestly.
"ohh No, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
The woman takes it upon herself to begin to "ease his pain".
She began to massage his groin.
After a few moments she asked, "does that feel better?"
The man looked up at her and replied, "yes, that feels pretty good ... but my thumb still hurts like hell!"
Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water?
A: Swimmers are farting.
Vote:
Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film?
They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"
After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded.
The couch says to him:
You should better take a decision!
You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...