A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green.
But each time the ball splashes into the drink.
In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself."
The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"
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Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
Why did the man keep doing the backstroke?
He’d just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach!
The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel.
"Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match."
The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.
"Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!"
Everyone agreed it was a good idea.
The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play.
The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match.
"I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus.
"Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope.
"You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!"
"No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
Don’t marry a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.
Cricket
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl?
A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
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Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer."
Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better."
The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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