Joke #5413

A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green. But each time the ball splashes into the drink. In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself." The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"

The Golfer asked his Caddy, "Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy replied, "The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!"

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.

All the bases are 90 feet apart in regulation Baseball. So why does it take a Runner longer to run from 2nd to 3rd than it does from 1st to 2nd? Simple! Because between 2nd and 3rd there is a 'Short-Stop'!

Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."

There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks. No one finished it. Why? Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick. It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!