Joke #5413

A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green. But each time the ball splashes into the drink. In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself." The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.

Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans? A: Squash.

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."

What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. Basketball

Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.