Joke #1230

My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
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‘I recently sold the rights of my love life to Parker brothers, they’re going to turn it into a game.’ Woody Allen
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A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
Vote: has 74.24 % from 155 votes. Send joke:

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This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at boobs and she said "Press One?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.
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Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
Vote: has 35.54 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

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‘After making love, I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?” And she said, “I don’t think this was good for anybody.”’ Garry Shandling
Vote: has 31.33 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

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10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
Vote: has 33.76 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
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A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds: "Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks." The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?" The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her." The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?" The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
Vote: has 73.01 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

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Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it. Why? Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex. No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
Vote: has 53.57 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
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