My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207.
Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
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A man and wife were making love.
When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away.
Mom said "You better fix this now."
The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma.
The dad screamed "What the fuck."
The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
A guy and a girl are lying in a room after just having sex.
The girl lays on her side of the bed and rests.
The guy goes to his side of the bed and says to himself, "Man, oh Man I finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin."
The girl overhears him talking to himself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?"
"Well," the guy explains, "I always wanted to wait until I was with the woman I love to lose my virginity."
Astounded, the girl replies,"So you really love me?"
"Oh God no!", the guy says."I just got sick of waiting."
Practical thought:
A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes.
A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
A voice inside said to me: ”Calm down, you are not the first doctor who sleeps with his patient!”
And another voice answered: ”but you are a veterinarian!”
I’m a very giving lover – I give Green Shield Stamps.
On the beach, how can you recognise a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll?
He doesn’t stare at the bikinis, he stares at the beach balls.
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"
George W. Bush and Bill Clinton both decided to have biographies written about them.
George called him "The Three Most Powerful Men - Bush, Dick, and Colon".
Bill called his "Sex Between the Bushes"
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