Joke #12404

Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"

Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it." Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks, "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!" "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"

Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?" Me: "Mom."

Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.

I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.

Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.

There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."

Q: How do you get 15,000 followers? A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning black man? A: The rest of his family.

Facebook is like a fridge. Every a few minutes you keep opening and closing it to see if there's anything good in it.