A Detroit-area woman who was removed from a jury for commenting about the ongoing case on Facebook has a longer writing task ahead: a five-page essay about the constitutional right to a fair trial. She responded, "Can I just get the answer from Wikipedia and send it to the inbox on your Facebook page instead?"
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is Down, your mums Facebook will do.
Status I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one. he's never gonna give you Up
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: "I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..." "I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?" "Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."
Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
I hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.
Facebook is like a fridge. Every a few minutes you keep opening and closing it to see if there's anything good in it.