Guy comes up the hill, look up to the sky and yells, "God, I want to hear your opinion! Is Facebook harmful?"
And response from heaven, "A moment, I just finish this status.."
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Yo mama is so fat Jesus can't hold her holy spirit.
Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one. he's never gonna give you Up
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa’s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face.
She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles.
Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled.
Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa.
"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl.
"Yes, He did, and that wasn’t too long ago," answers her grandpa.
"Boy," says the little girl, "He’s sure doing a lot better job these days isn’t He?"
The church is struck by lightning.
The insurance company refuses to pay out for damages incurred, as there is a specific disclaimer clause for "An act of God", which, amongst others, lightning is classified as.
The priest goes to every household and asks for a donation to rebuild the church.
One Christian farmer protested, "I'm sorry, Pastor, but I can't give money to Somebody who set His own house alight!"
Facebook wants to add Chuck Norris as a Friend.
Vote:
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
Vote:
Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment.
They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten.
After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."