Joke #12425

Yo mama breath stanks so bad, instead of using baking soda, it smells like she uses baking ass!
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A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: mean, money, time, vulgar, work
Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm. He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing." The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck". The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"
Vote: has 81.23 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.
Vote: has 79.34 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
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Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle." Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible." Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"
Vote: has 77.74 % from 103 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, kids, mean, sex, vulgar
The wife and I had come to town to pick up a few things. We came out of one store and saw a cop writing a ticket for illegal parking right in front of us on the curb. So we asked him nicely to give a couple of retirees a break. But he paid us no attention and kept writing. Just loud enough for him to hear, my wife said, "What a Bozo." The cop looked up, stared at my wife, then started writing out another ticket. I said, "Honey, this guy probably just learned to read and write, and he's so proud of himself, he's showing off." The cop tore off the 2nd ticket and started on a third. We kept making comments and he kept writing tickets till he was up to about half a dozen. Finally, glaring at us, the cop left, and we walked on down the street. We didn't care about the tickets. We always take the bus into town, and anyway, that car was one of those obnoxious Hummers. Being retired, we always try to find ways to keep ourselves amused. We feel it's important.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, cop, mean, old people, vulgar
Yo mama's so fat when she sat on a tree it made paper.
Vote: has 75.33 % from 116 votes. Send joke:
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Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
Vote: has 74.73 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention? A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, mean, time, vulgar, work
Yo mammas so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, her reflection said," I quit." And walked away.
Vote: has 71.05 % from 86 votes. Send joke:
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Autocorrect can kiss my ask!
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
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