Joke #12425

Yo mama breath stanks so bad, instead of using baking soda, it smells like she uses baking ass!
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: mean, vulgar, Yo mama

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The wife and I had come to town to pick up a few things. We came out of one store and saw a cop writing a ticket for illegal parking right in front of us on the curb. So we asked him nicely to give a couple of retirees a break. But he paid us no attention and kept writing. Just loud enough for him to hear, my wife said, "What a Bozo." The cop looked up, stared at my wife, then started writing out another ticket. I said, "Honey, this guy probably just learned to read and write, and he's so proud of himself, he's showing off." The cop tore off the 2nd ticket and started on a third. We kept making comments and he kept writing tickets till he was up to about half a dozen. Finally, glaring at us, the cop left, and we walked on down the street. We didn't care about the tickets. We always take the bus into town, and anyway, that car was one of those obnoxious Hummers. Being retired, we always try to find ways to keep ourselves amused. We feel it's important.
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has 83.08 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, mean, old people, vulgar
One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner. They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good. Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door. The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families. She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun. They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls. The father says "this soup stinks!" The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful." The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating." After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on. The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
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has 81.69 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: family, food, mean, religious, vulgar
Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm. He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing." The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck". The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"
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has 80.74 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk, mean, vulgar, wife
Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
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has 79.03 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.
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has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, mean, vulgar
Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!" Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
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has 76.54 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention? A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: black humor, mean, time, vulgar, work
Yo mama so ugly that her mom only fed her with a sling shot.
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: food, mean, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama's so fat when she sat on a tree it made paper.
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has 75.03 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
Autocorrect can kiss my ask!
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: mean, technology, vulgar