We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top. It's a bad look with his mullet.
Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair!
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."