Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart?
A: Chuck Norris' fist
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When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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What occurs twice in The Beginning, never in The End, but is at The End of Everything?
Chuck Norris.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch.
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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