Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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One day Chuck Norris wanted to make a prank to whole world.
So Justin Bieber was created.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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