Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top.
It's a bad look with his mullet.
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
Chuck Norris sleeps with his gun over his pillow.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
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A Knight was getting ready for the crusade.
Ha turned to his friend and told him:
"My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free."
When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message:
"Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"
Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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