Joke #13537

Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.

Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.

We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top. It's a bad look with his mullet.

Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.

Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

Bruce Springsteen calls Chuck Norris 'The Boss'.

A crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to again take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her embarrassment she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. About this time, a large guy who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. The went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!" The guy smiled and drawled, "Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind’a figured we were friends."

Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF! Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Did you know the Dinosaurs crossed Chuck Norris? But only once.