Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top.
It's a bad look with his mullet.
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
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Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
A: Because they're ugly and they stink.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman?
"Immediately start downloading it."
A Knight was getting ready for the crusade.
Ha turned to his friend and told him:
"My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free."
When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message:
"Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"