Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top.
It's a bad look with his mullet.
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
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Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
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A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates.
The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?"
No.
The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?"
No.
The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck."
The farmer shot Chuck.
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt.
After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir."
At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon.
The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.
"Get my brown pants."
