Q: What do you call a pot of angry water? A: Boiling mad.
Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "Hey miss, lost a shoe?" She said, "Nope, just found one!"
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
Little Johnny's father farted. The son asked his father: "What was that?" His father said: "My sweet that is 'north wind'" When he went to school the teacher asked the class: "Who knows the direction of the north wind? Little Johnny shouted: "My daddy's ass!"
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment. The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat." He smiled. "Done."
Q: What do you call a smart blonde? A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.
Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.