Joke #12091

Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, fitness, IT

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
Vote: has 81.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, fitness, gym, mean
I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf
Vote: has 71.53 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, IT, technology
Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear? A: Lynx
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, internet, IT, technology, work
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology
"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, internet, IT, technology
There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout. Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today." The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?" Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
Vote: has 50.89 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, fitness, gay, gym, love
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, sex
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fitness
An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?” "I’m Italian and I am a golfer,” says the old guy,” and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of vino, and all is well.” “Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?” ”Who said my Dad’s dead?” The doctor is amazed. “You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?” “He’s 100 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. “In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that’s why he’s still alive… he’s Italian and he’s a golfer too.” “Well,” the doctor says, “that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he died?” ”Who said my grandpa’s dead?” Stunned, the doctor asks, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?” “He’s 118 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, “So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?” “No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.” At this point the doctor is close to losing it. “Getting married! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?” ”Who said he wanted to?”
Vote: has 75.65 % from 84 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, dad, doctor, fitness, old people
The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, geek, internet, IT, technology