Joke #12453

Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: food, sport

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On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
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has 73.80 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
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has 72.57 % from 214 votes. More jokes about: food, sport
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: food, gym, kids, sport
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
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has 60.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: food, sport, Yo mama
"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end." "People who go out of their way to help others have great taste." "An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry." "Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue." "A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble." "The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew." "It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea." "You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried." "If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon." "Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner." "Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, sport, travel
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, food, sport
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
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has 54.44 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
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has 77.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid, time, women
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, food