Joke #125

Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
Vote:
has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, science

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I still can't tell where we are, let's ask that guy on the ground". So Harry yells down at the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?" The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air". George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer". And Harry says "How can you tell?". George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless". That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry: They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".
Vote:
has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math, science, time, travel
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Vote:
has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, game, science, time
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
Vote:
has 69.14 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, lawyer, life
Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth. Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history, mean, science
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a spermatozoid? Only one from 30.000 gets a man.
Vote:
has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
Vote:
has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: death, lawyer
The First Law of Thermodynamics states: Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, nerd, science
A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession." The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine." Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"
Vote:
has 85.04 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?” Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.”
Vote:
has 78.89 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer