Joke #12518

Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought.
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has 85.29 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: blonde, vulgar

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Teacher: "Who can tell a story?" Little Johnny: "Our maid's ass." Teacher: "Why?" Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her ass and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"
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has 70.78 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, sex, vulgar
Yo mama's so fat, that her MySpace has no space.
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has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, internet, vulgar, Yo mama
Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."
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has 81.12 % from 574 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, driving, travel
Infinity mathematicians came to bar. First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter... The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, math, nerd, vulgar
A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?" Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!" Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, old people, vulgar
A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway. He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving. The cop yelled, "Pull over!" The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"
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has 75.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde
The wife and I had come to town to pick up a few things. We came out of one store and saw a cop writing a ticket for illegal parking right in front of us on the curb. So we asked him nicely to give a couple of retirees a break. But he paid us no attention and kept writing. Just loud enough for him to hear, my wife said, "What a Bozo." The cop looked up, stared at my wife, then started writing out another ticket. I said, "Honey, this guy probably just learned to read and write, and he's so proud of himself, he's showing off." The cop tore off the 2nd ticket and started on a third. We kept making comments and he kept writing tickets till he was up to about half a dozen. Finally, glaring at us, the cop left, and we walked on down the street. We didn't care about the tickets. We always take the bus into town, and anyway, that car was one of those obnoxious Hummers. Being retired, we always try to find ways to keep ourselves amused. We feel it's important.
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has 82.69 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, mean, old people, vulgar
Did you hear about the blonde who sold her car to get some money for petrol?
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has 24.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde