How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
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What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
"You keep hearing about them, but never see any."
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
Did you hear about the blonde who sold her car to get some money for petrol?
Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?
A: Women!
Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?
A: Must be an earthquake.
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.”
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.