Did you hear about the blonde who went to a library and checked out a book called How to Hug?
She got it home and found it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.
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A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.
She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"
A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"
The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
There are three moms.
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.
They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed.
I cannot believe she smokes weed"
They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse.
I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.
Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse.
I just cannot believe she has a penis"
How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here!
Cop: Okay, calm down.
Where are you?
Blonde: The cemetery!
Cop: *facepalm*
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
A blonde's car breaks down.
A cop pulls up and inquires about the group of naked men standing next to her car.
The blonde says, "They're my emergency flashers."
Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A. Grade 4.
Q: What happened when a blonde missed the Q44 bus?
A: She took the Q22 twice.