Did you hear about the blonde who went to a library and checked out a book called How to Hug? She got it home and found it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.
Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
She was so blonde that she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake? A: Must be an earthquake.
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
A blond was taking a shower and her husband called in and asked "did you find the new dry hair shampoo I picked up for you?" And the blond replied "yes but there's a problem I already got my hair wet"
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First.
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours? A: Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides.
blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."
A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner. The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well. The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?" The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave!"