Joke #12521

My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
Vote:
has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: christian, relationship

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
Vote:
has 73.55 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: christian, dirty, relationship, sex, student
Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush. Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit. Friend: Ok I can see it... Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there. Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this. Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you. Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl. Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet. Friend: I hate you...
Vote:
has 77.36 % from 496 votes. More jokes about: dirty, relationship
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
Vote:
has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor, christian, food
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.
Vote:
has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: christian, money, tax
I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black condom. Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?" "My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.
Vote:
has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, mean, relationship, sex
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
Vote:
has 38.33 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, jewish, mean
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Vote:
has 56.76 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian, game
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Vote:
has 73.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: christian, Christmas, church, easter, work
Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split." Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: relationship, work
The church is struck by lightning. The insurance company refuses to pay out for damages incurred, as there is a specific disclaimer clause for "An act of God", which, amongst others, lightning is classified as. The priest goes to every household and asks for a donation to rebuild the church. One Christian farmer protested, "I'm sorry, Pastor, but I can't give money to Somebody who set His own house alight!"
Vote:
has 73.58 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: christian, church, god, life, priest