Joke #12521

My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"

Q: What do two rednecks say after breaking up? A: Lets just be cousins.

Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.

Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!

"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."

My girlfriend said she wanted a perfect holiday, so I had to stay home!

My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.

Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.

My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted. I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."

There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said "I bet I can walk across the water." He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said "They did it that means I do it." , He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"