Q: How does Jesus celebrate Easter?
A: He gets a manicure, pedicure, and has his nails polished.
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A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Jesus won't come back again.
Why?
Because he know you will kill him and see if he will wake up again.
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"?
A: He got crucified
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What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??
A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
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What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
They lived hoppily ever after.
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!
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