Joke #12560

I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too small for my weight.

A fat lady (To a health expert): "Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness." Health expert: "Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time." Fat lady: "At which particular time?" Health expert: "Whenever anybody asks you to eat."

3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!

A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."

Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.

Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.

What is height of Activelaziness? Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

A professor was walking along a very narrow street when he came face to face with a rival professor. The street was too narrow for two to pass. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily: "I never make way for fools!" Smiling, the professor stepped aside and said: "I always do."

Yo' Mama is so fat, when she did a cartwheel, she kicked an angel in the nuts.

Saying the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is called parenting.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.