Joke #964

I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.

Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"

Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs. "That is something you're never going to talk about again. And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth." Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared. One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married. On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there. "No," he said, "it's got teeth." "Silly goose!" she said. She spread her legs wide for him to see. "See? No teeth!" "Well, I'm not surprised," the man said. "Not with gums like that."

A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early. Arriving home, he found his wife with another man. Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next. His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mother-in-law. "Bill" she said, "I checked with my daughter and, as I expected, there is a perfectly good explanation for this whole episode." "This I've got to hear," the Sailor said. "It was an honest mistake," the mother-in -law said. " She never got your e-mail!"

Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary? A: A major glitch!

Boy: My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on. Girl: Well its wrong... Boy: Guess my watch is 15 minutes fast

Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.

Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.