Joke #12709

Q: How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They always use candles.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: catholic, light bulb

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A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: catholic, church, disgusting, kids
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: graduation, light bulb, student, stupid, time
A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knocking' mate, there's no paper in this one either."
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has 79.34 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, catholic, church, drunk
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear. On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: catholic, Chuck Norris
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.
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has 25.67 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, light bulb
How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Yes.
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: IT, light bulb, programmer
How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
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has 61.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb
An Atheist dies in a car crash and wakes up in a big dark room with a sign above a single door: "Welcome to Hell!" "Shit! So the Shavelings were right after all!" the Atheist thinks, opens the door – and is stunned by the view! A marvelous beach! Crystal blue water, white sand, palm trees, the sun is shining and all around there are people laughing, having fun and listening to happy music or enjoying excellent food and drinks.rnLucifer, dressed in a Hawaiian Shirt, greets the Atheist, hands him a fantastic- looking cocktail and says cheerfully: "Hey! Welcome to Hell. Have a drink, have a snack. Take a look around and enjoy yourself! See you later!" Totally speechless at first, the Atheist finally starts to take a look around, is greeted everywhere, listens to people´s stories about their mortal lives and takes a stroll down the beach. After a few minutes into the walk, he starts hearing cries of pain, wailing, shouts, and screams and decides to follow that noises. Finally, the Atheist arrives at the rim of a big, black hole, takes a look down and is scared to the bone! Down there, the place is all fire, sulfur, brimstone! Rivers of lava, gnarled trees, and among it all the lost souls, being tormented forever by demons and devils. "Whoa! Take it easy!" Lucifer jumps right in to prevent the Atheist from falling into that pit and he stumbles backward, drops into the sand and stammers: "Wha... what the HELL is that place?" Lucifer looks down, shrugs and says: "Oh, that´s the Catholic´s department. They want it that way."
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has 67.32 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: atheist, car, catholic, death, mean
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, catholic, religious, time