Joke #12716

Knock Knock Who's there! B-4! B-4 who? B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean's hand.

A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."

Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.

Knock-Knock Who is there? A long penis with a naked head. Come in please we were waiting for you.

A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."

Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a week?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a month?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a year?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Ok, I have a joke. Her: "Ok." Me: "Knock, knock." Her: "Who's there?" Me: "You didn't remember me."

I'll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.

One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"

One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.

Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!

You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.