Joke #12716

Knock Knock Who's there! B-4! B-4 who? B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean's hand.

Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."

Knock knock! Who's there? Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream land on you!

Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.

Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? A: Because they leave to go answer the door.

If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.

Knock knock. Who's there? FBI. FB… We are asking the questions here!

You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.

A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."

Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!

When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.