Joke #11567

Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Josh. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts "Let Josh graduate, let Josh graduate!" The principal agrees to give Josh one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Josh, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Josh thought long and hard and then said: "Ten." And the entire senior class stood up and shouted, "Give Josh another chance. Give Josh another chance!"

Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!" Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"

Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.

When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. They say I'm a little rough around the edges.

A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately. ‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man. ‘Watch them!’ says his wife. ‘You already know how to play volleyball.’

Knock Knock Who's there! B-4! B-4 who? B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean's hand.

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.

When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.

After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.