Joke #11567

Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: graduation, sport

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Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
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It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
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What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.
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Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
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Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him. The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
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Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
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The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. "Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." "Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible." The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?" "Yeah. But you started it."
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Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
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After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: graduation, school, time, work
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: graduation, life, school, work