Joke #1288

To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.

Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet? A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.

"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy." Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."

Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.

Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV. "Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?" "I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied. "You haven’t touched me in months. We’re going to talk about sex right now!" "OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"

Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

The coach says to the boxer encouragement words: The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...

What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose? "Darling."

So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton! Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!" "What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine. "Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"