To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.
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Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
Squash
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
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Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?
A: Squash.
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
Two alpinists on a mountain:
One of them falls in a crack, the other jumps at the hole and screams after the other one:
Are you hurt?
Noooooo! He hears.
How come?
I’m still fallinnnnnnn!
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?
A: Baaasket baaall!
What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common?
They both change their pads after 3 periods.
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It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice.
He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.
He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.
"No" says the neighbor.
"The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"
The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me.
I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."