Joke #1288

To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.

Do I have any chance to win? Asks the boxer. Off course! Continue hitting the air and the adversary will shortly get a lung inflammation.

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

Q: Why is horse racing so romantic? A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.

Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website? Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.

Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.

Why are old socks good for golf? Because they have eighteen holes.

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here." The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."

Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.

Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.