Joke #1288

To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.

When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants. High five!

Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

An American businessman is on a business trip in Japan and hires a hooker. The whole night, this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: "Hoshimota! Hoshimota!" He can't quite remember what the word means, but he's sure he's pleased the hooker to best of his ability. The next morning, he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner when he makes a hole-in-one. Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and he can't think anything to say but "HOSHIMOTA!" Concerned, his partner turns to him "What do you mean it's in the wrong hole?"

Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!

Where's the safest place to be when a bunch of white guys are playing basketball? Under the Hoop

I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.

Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV. "Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?" "I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied. "You haven’t touched me in months. We’re going to talk about sex right now!" "OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"

Q: What's the difference between a teabag and england? A: The teabag stays in the cup longer!

Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.

Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.