To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.
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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.
The Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher.
Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
Vote:
Q: What do you call two Asians playing basketball?
A: Ping-Pong
Did you hear that the boxer Colloso Mamello, was disqualified?
Yes, but why?
Because he was superstitious.
He had a horseshow, hidden in his glove...
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing.
But I mean, 41 years, still alive.
I kinda got it.
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan.
When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
Vote:
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?"
I said, "No, permanent."
There once was a man who decided to go scuba diving one day.
So he went to the deepest part of the beach, got on his gear, and went underwater.
He decides to go down 20 feet, and there he sees another guy with no equipment on.
The man thought this was strange but we forgot about it and went down another 20 feet.
There, he sees the same guy down there with no gear on.
But the man decided to forget about it and go down another 20 feet.
When he does, he sees the same guy 60 feet underwater with no gear on.
Finally the man writes a note asking this guy how he can go so deep underwater without any gear.
The guy writes back, ''Because I'm drowning, asshole!''