Joke #3977

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
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At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear. The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?" The baby bear replied, "No he beats me." The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear! The baby bear said, "No she beats me too." The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?" The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
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A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep. I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any. Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s. I tried. But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
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Yo' Mama is like a hockey player, she doesn't change her pad for three periods.
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I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
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There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman. And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!
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Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
Vote: has 63.26 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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