I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
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There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team.
They drowned during spring training.
Billy and Joe were huge baseball fans.
One day, both Billy and Joe made a pact that if either of them were to die; they had to come back to the other in the form of a ghost to let the other know if baseball was played in heaven.
Sure enough, Billy dies and eventually comes to Joe one night in the form of a ghost.
A startled Joe realizes it is the ghost of his deceased friend and says "Billy, it is so good to see you...so tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?".
"Well", Billy says, "I have some good news and bad news for ya.
First the good news...YES, there is baseball in heaven!".
"Thank God!" Joe shouts...
"What is the bad news?!".
"You're pitching tomorrow."
Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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He was a colourful boxer.
Black and blue all over.
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
Chuck Norris became famous when he coached the American rugby and America won the fifa world cup.
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Q: Why can't white people swim?
A: Cause they get soggy.
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A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green.
But each time the ball splashes into the drink.
In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself."
The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"
A psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving give an oral quiz to the freshman class.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"