I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
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Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games?
A: Because there's not a fan in the place.
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
What's a bee's favourite sport?
Rugbee.
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate?
The ice.
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight."
The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again."
A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?"
"This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
Hey babe, let's play football!
You can have first down.
High five!
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?
A:Because they dribble all over the court.
Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse.
They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water?
A: Swimmers are farting.
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