Our new midfielder cost ten million.
I call him our wonder player.
How come?
Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
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Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water?
A: Swimmers are farting.
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George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz.
When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish.
''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains.
''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.)
''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage.
Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard.
Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team.
"I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team."
"I blame the players," said the
second fan. "If they made more of
an effort, we'd score some points."
"I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle,
I'd be supporting a decent team."
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them?
A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.
"I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends.
"I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition."
"Batted .007," his wife added.
Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!"
Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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