Our new midfielder cost ten million.
I call him our wonder player.
How come?
Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
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What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream?
Aston Vanilla.
What did the trampolinist say?
‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’
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A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island.
The redhead swims half way and drowns.
The brunette swims half way and drowns too.
The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
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Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown?
A: A dino-score.
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!
Why are football stadiums always cool?
"Because they're full of fans."
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog.
They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!"
But the man protested and replied:
"No, no, he isn't that clever.
I'm leading by three games to one!"
Why is Cinderella such a bad football player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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