Q: How do pirates make their money?
A: By hook or by crook!
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We were so poor our mother would send us out with a shopping list to chase the garbage truck.
Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid.
A pirate walks into a bar and sits down.
The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't help but notice when you walked in.
Is that a steering wheel hung between your legs?"
"Aye!" replied the pirate, "And it's drivin' me nuts!"
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis.
The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?"
And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
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Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?
A: You would think R but it is the C that love.
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Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty!
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont."
The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die."
So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?"
The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting."
So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont."
The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."