A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?"
I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?"
He said, "A werewolf."
I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on."
He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"
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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat".
The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as.
"I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children?
A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons?
A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
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If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother.
Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?"
Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210."
Johnny: ...
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Handy hint: Feed your baby onions so you can find it in the dark.
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.
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