A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?" I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?" He said, "A werewolf." I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on." He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween? A: On blood vessels.
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.