A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?"
I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?"
He said, "A werewolf."
I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on."
He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"
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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat".
The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as.
"I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children?
A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months.
One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job.
I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case.
"If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
Yo mama so fat, her kids come out of her all at once.
Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
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