Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
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Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?"
Matthew: "I don't know. What?"
Michael: "Candy corneas."
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Joke has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal."
Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit."
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
I got really love sick the other day working away from home.
Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
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Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat".
The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as.
"I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children?
A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!