Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay went to a doctor. The doctor told them that if they do again what they think are addicted to, they will die. As soon as the alcoholic went out of the hospital, he saw a bar. He thought for a while and said to himself, "If I drink one, I will die, if I don’t drink, I will die, too. So it’s better to get drunk." And he entered the bar, drank and died. At that time, the smoker saw one cigarette-end on the street. The gay walking behind him started crying, "Don’t! Don’t do it!" "Why? I want to smoke so much." "If you bend... we both are dead!"
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.
Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.