Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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Q: What do gay horses eat?
A: Hay.
Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed.
When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?"
"Oh awful, just awful!" she replied.
"What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?"
"Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all."
"Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked.
"Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied.
"Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?"
"It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Q: What do you call a gay drive by?
A: "a fruit roll up."
Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay?
A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
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In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister.
The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me?
I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming.
She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed.
Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession.
"Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable.
I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation.
Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do.
So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"
In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
In Radiant Spirits, Solari's body temprature is 120 degrees.
Chuck Norris's body temprature is about 151 degrees.
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