Joke #9322

Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay went to a doctor. The doctor told them that if they do again what they think are addicted to, they will die. As soon as the alcoholic went out of the hospital, he saw a bar. He thought for a while and said to himself, "If I drink one, I will die, if I don’t drink, I will die, too. So it’s better to get drunk." And he entered the bar, drank and died. At that time, the smoker saw one cigarette-end on the street. The gay walking behind him started crying, "Don’t! Don’t do it!" "Why? I want to smoke so much." "If you bend... we both are dead!"
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
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Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
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Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
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Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.
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Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
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Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.
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