Q: What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?
A: An e-mergency.
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Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.
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I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
When Google has a question Chuck Norris always knows it.
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I was looking at the pies offered by a nearby café.
They had cherry, apple, berry, peach, and Herman's.
"What type of pie is Herman's?" I asked the waiter.
"Apple," he said.
"Then why is it called Herman's pie?"
"Because Herman called in to reserve it."
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My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals.
Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.”
“Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied.
A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him after wards.
“We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested.
I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order.
My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate checks, please…”
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The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...
Q: Where's Spiderman's home page?
A: On the world wide web.
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Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!