Q: What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?
A: An e-mergency.
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Facebook: "My kids are perfect."
Instagram: "My kids are beautiful."
Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
A furniture store keeps calling me.
But all I wanted was one night stand.
The husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet the wife stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came back to his senses, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business fell, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side.
When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"
Q: What's in the wardrobe?
A: Narnia business.
On the Internet you can be anything you want.
It's so strange that many people choose to be stupid.
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full".
That's just 3 random words.
I'm going to try now.
Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!
If Chuck Norris were to write his own "Chuck Norris Facts", this website would have to be changed to "Chuck Norris Laws.com".
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."
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