A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.
Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
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A man goes into a bank and asks the cashier to check his balance, so the cashier pushes him over.
What’s the best way to get in touch with your long-lost relatives?
Win the Lottery.
A young woman walks into a bank to withdraw some money.
‘Can you identify yourself?’ asked the bank clerk.
The young woman opens her handbag, takes out a mirror, looks into it and says, ‘Yes, it’s me all right.’
Yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
Vote:
Where to birds invest their money?
In the stork market!
Think nobody knows you’re alive?
Try missing a payment.
George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once.
He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office.
"Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked.
"Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first."
"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" George was stunned? "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."