When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
A 64-year-old lady never had any kids, so she went to her doctor and asked if he would help her with in-vitro fertilization. He said, "You're a little old, but I guess we could give it a try." A few months later she got pregnant. She invited her girlfriends over to see the baby, and they all very anxious to see the baby boy. The newly mother said, "why don't we just talk awhile." As time went on, her friends asked again and again where is the baby... She said, "We never get a chance to talk, and here is our chance to catch up!" Finally they insisted on seeing him. She said, "Well, we'll just have to wait until he cries before you all can see him." The women were puzzled. And she said, "I don't remember where I put him."
Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 75 years old, how do you honestly feel?'' ''Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just peed myself.''
In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.