Joke #10598

In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite his 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. Kylie Minogue, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Kyle said, “Sean, if I am not being too forward, I’d love to have sex with an older man. Let’s go back to my place.” So they go back to her place and have great sex. Afterwards, Sean says, “If you think that was good, let me sleep for half an hour, and we can have even better sex. But while I’m sleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and my dick in your right hand.” Kylie looks a bit perplexed, but says, “Okay”. He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex. Then Sean says, “Kylie, that was wonderful. But if you let me sleep for an hour, we can have the best sex yet. But again, hold my balls in your left hand, and my Dick in your right hand.” Kylie is now used to the routine and complies. The results are mind blowing. Once it’s all over, and the cigarettes are lit, Kylie asks “Sean, tell me, does my holding your balls in my left hand and your dick in my right stimulate you while you’re sleeping?” Sean replies, “No, but the last time I slept with a slut from Melbourne, she stole my wallet.”

Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."

If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why? A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.

Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"

Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.

Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.