Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now.. I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC? Of course I do - it's Facebook...
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...