Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.
Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
There was a black guy, white guy, and a Mexican on a ship. The ship was sinking so the black guy said, "quick throw off anything we don't need." The Mexican threw off tacos, the black guy thre off fried chicken and the white guy threw off the black guy and the Mexican.
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
Yo mama is stupid, she put a book in her friend face and named facebook.
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
Q: What did one vegan say to the other vegan? A: We have to stop meating like this.
I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces. It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.