Facebook is like a fridge.
Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.
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Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
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Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law.
The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary.
The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
Boss comes up to an employee:
"Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month!"
"Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day."
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym.
Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
I hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
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