Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.
Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It's mashing!
Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge? A: In case she wanted black coffee.
Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one. he's never gonna give you Up
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were on a plane. The red head takes a bite of an apple doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The brunette takes a bite out of an orange doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The blonde takes a bit of a bomb doesn't like it she throws it out the window. They get out of the plane. They come up to a little boy asks why he is crying! he says "An apple fell on my dog and killed my dog." They keep walking and come up to a little girl and asks why she is crying. She says" An orange fell on my cat and killed my cat." They keep walking. They come up to a blonde laughing her head off. "Why are you laughing so hard?" they said. "When I farted the building blew up!"
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.