And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses?
A: Because their afraid of the showers.
Vote:
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob.
"Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work."
"Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday."
So I call him on his cell.
"What gives, bro,?" I ask.
"Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes."
I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer."
"Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
Vote:
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl?
Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
Vote:
Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter.
He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
Vote:
How many dead babies does it take to change a tire?
Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
Vote:
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.
Vote:
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?"
After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor".
The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair".
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news".
The doctor replies, "He's dead".
Vote:
Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: Opens mouth.
Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Vote:
Black humour is like a pair of legs.
Not everyone has it.
Vote: