Joke #2836

And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.

What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea? A good start.

Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.

My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions. One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?" Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."

Q: Where does a black jew go? A: The back of the oven.

I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.

A ship goes out to sea and crashes. 6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island. Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived. So they come to this agreement. All of the men will marry the one woman for a week. So the first man has her for one week, the second man has her for the second week, and so on. Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it. This goes on for five years and everyone is happy. Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man every week. Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies. The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week is getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad, real bad, and the fifth week is just awful. It’s getting so very bad that on the sixth week they buried her.

What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!

Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!

Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.

The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.