And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers. Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people." First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.