Joke #13709

Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth. The Priests confess his sins.
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A deer hunter asked his Pastor if it was a sin to hunt on Sunday. "From what I hear about your aim," said the Pastor, "It's a sin for you to hunt anytime."
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A priest asks Johnny if he's scared of Satan. Little Johnny says "I have nothing to be scared of you are the one that must be scared; you talk crap about him every Sunday..."
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
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An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?" The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"
Vote: has 69.84 % from 90 votes. Send joke:
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice. This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
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During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes, I do" then leaned toward the priest and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The priest put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
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A drunk staggered down the main street of the town. Somehow he managed to make it up the stairs to a cathedral and into the entrance, where he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had observed all this, and figured the fellow needed some help, so he entered his side of the confessional. After the priest sat there in deathly silence, he finally asked, "May I help you, my son?" "I dunno," came the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You got any paper on your side?"
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
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