Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth.
The Priests confess his sins.
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A priest asks Johnny if he's scared of Satan.
Little Johnny says "I have nothing to be scared of you are the one that must be scared; you talk crap about him every Sunday..."
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An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train.
After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?"
The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion."
Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation.
He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..."
The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice."
There was silence for a while.
Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"
A deer hunter asked his Pastor if it was a sin to hunt on Sunday.
"From what I hear about your aim," said the Pastor, "It's a sin for you to hunt anytime."
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom.
He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed.
When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted:
"Father, what are you doing?"
The priest replied "Calm down my child.
Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice.
This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
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Chuck Norris is like an F5 Tornado...
When you see him coming you better run for cover and pray to God he doesn't find you...
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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