Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice. This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth. The Priests confess his sins.
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris is like an F5 Tornado... When you see him coming you better run for cover and pray to God he doesn't find you...
The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
Jesus walks into an inn and hands the innkeeper 3 nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?"
Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!" Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. "How do you know this, Sister?" "My Mother Superior told me so." "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself" "Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life" "How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!" "I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know." The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar. "Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?" "Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?"