Joke #13768

The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.

99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, 1 bug fixed... Compile again, 100 little bugs in the code.

Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right? A: 1.

Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? A: The Food!

90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.

A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.

Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard? A. Grade 4.

No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.

A boy tells his friend that he has a crush on his teacher. The second boy says, ‘Man, that is disgusting.’ The first boy says, ‘What? Everyone has a crush on their teacher.’ The second boy says, ‘Yeah, but you’re home-schooled.’

Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.

The following conversation took place in school. Teacher: "So we are all descended from Adam and Eve." Young kid: "My dad says we came from apes." Teacher: "That's probably true for your family Abdul."