The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
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There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
Which one has the biggest tits?
The blonde....she's 18.
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.
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The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class,
"Who broke down the walls of Jericho?"
Little Johnny replies, "I dunno, but it wasn't me!"
The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.
The principal replies, "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth."
Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story...
After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the damned wall!"
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Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!
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When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones.
The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones."
I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright.
Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.