I follow CIA on Twitter just so they can see how it feels.
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Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear?
A: Lynx
Vote:
"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."
Vote:
Facebook: "My kids are perfect."
Instagram: "My kids are beautiful."
Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step.
Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically:
"Do you know they are all out of step except you?" "What?" asked the recruit innocently.
"I said -- they are all out of step except you!" thundered the sergeant.
The recruit replied, "Well, sarge, you're in charge -- you tell them!"
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Which branch of the military do babies join?
The infantry!
Q: Where's Spiderman's home page?
A: On the world wide web.
Vote:
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest.
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"