I follow CIA on Twitter just so they can see how it feels.
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What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common?
Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar?
He got bombed.
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...
Q: What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?
A: An e-mergency.
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don’t speak the same language.
For instance, Take the simple phrase “secure the building”.
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters.
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
During the Cold War days, a Russian pilot is captured by the US Army and locked up for interrogation.
US interrogator: "Tell us about the plans of the MiG-50 Fighter!"
Russian pilot: "I don't know" He is beaten up, then he's interrogated again...
US interrogator: "Tell us about the plans of the MiG-50 fighter!"
Russian pilot: "I have no idea about anything, I swear!"
He is beaten up again, then again and again, and finally the Americans get tired of interrogating him, so they let him go back to Russia. In Russia, when he first meets his pilot comrades, he tells them:
"Comrades, learn the MiG-50 plans well, 'cause the Americans almost had me killed for not knowing them!"
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
What about Where does a General keep his Armys?
In his sleevies!
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.