What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
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Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why?
Theres no place like home ...
What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
I don't know, I've never seen either one.
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women?
A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"
Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
What does a man make best for dinner?
Reservations.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later, there’s a knock on the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
They put one man on the moon.
Why can’t they put them all there?
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.