How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
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Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why?
Theres no place like home ...
What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife?
A: Let him keep her!
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle.
Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags.
The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?"
"Just sand," replied Jose.
An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter.
Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days."
Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
A man walks into a sperm Bank.
He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle.
He decides to start a conversation with him.
He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?"
The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
One morning while his wife was making breakfast, a man walked up to her and gave her a healthy pinch on her butt.
He said to her, "If you firmed up your butt we could get rid of your girdle."
The wife was angry but said nothing. The next morning her husband pinched her breast and said, "If you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
The wife grabbed her husband's penis and replied, "and if you firmed this up we could get rid of the mailman, the gardener, the pool man, and your brother!"