Joke #1113

How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.

How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.

Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.” Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. ”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”. ”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”