How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island. The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts. The man thinks to himself, "What if there are other people on the island? Then we won't be stranded!" He throws coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated. Everybody looks at him cross. Then they kick him off the island.
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.