How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females." Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say